Why Do People ‘Brown Nose’? Delving into the Dynamics of Ingratiation
‘Brown nosing’, a colloquial term often used interchangeably with ‘bootlicking’, refers to trying to win favour or ingratiate oneself with someone, especially a superior, by being excessively complimentary or helpful.
It is a phenomenon observed across cultures and workplaces, but what drives this behaviour? I seriously wonder! I have seen and heard it in workplaces, in friendship groups, in families …………….. it happens everywhere in reality.
Why do people Brown-Nose?
- Professional Advancement: One of the most common motivators behind ‘brown nosing’ is the desire for professional growth. By currying favour with superiors, individuals hope to better their chances at promotions, raises, or other professional perks.
- Job Security: In uncertain economic times or competitive environments, some individuals might ‘brown nose’ as a protective measure, ensuring they remain in the good books of those in power and reduce the risk of job loss.
- Seeking Approval: For some, the act of ingratiating is less about tangible benefits and more about seeking approval or validation. The positive feedback loop from pleasing those in authority can boost their self-esteem.
- Conflict Avoidance: By constantly agreeing with or pandering to superiors, individuals can avoid potential confrontations or disagreements, leading to a smoother (albeit not necessarily genuine) working relationship. When you ignore conflict it grows (will write on that)
- Social Mobility: Outside of professional settings, ‘brown nosing’ can also be a ticket to social mobility, helping individuals access certain circles or social groups they aspire to join.
- Taking the ‘mick’: As someone did to me the other day 🙂 it is a colloquial term for making fun of someone, often done as a form of social bonding and generally when you know someone well.
Otherwise, taking the ‘mick’ could be seen as asserting dominance or to cope with stress or discomfort. It allows individuals to navigate social hierarchies, connect with others through humour, or distance themselves from a situation by making it a subject of light-hearted ridicule or satire. However, it can sometimes cross into the territory of being hurtful or demeaning, so context and intent are essential to consider before taking the ‘mick’ as it can easily turn negative.
While ‘brown nosing’ might bring short-term gains, it’s worth noting that genuine good work, and integrity are more respected and rewarded in the long run.
‘You may feel powerless as a child, but your world is yours, and you are responsible for it – so seize the day and take charge of it and of yourself.’ Julie Hogbin
Last weeks article will compliment this one The Art of Flattery
If you would like to subscribe to The Conscious Leadership Podcast – I would be delighted, and there are over 200 episodes now recorded.