‘Be Right or Be Happy’ is a phrase I hear linked to Communication, and it was said to me a short while ago as a slight criticism and I initially accepted it as being right because sometimes I know I am right and being wrong is not an option and I without question accepted the phrase as being right! Then I thought about the phrase more and the more I thought it led me to the fact that the phrase is wrong which led to this article about being right! Or being wrong! First things first being right does not exclude me or you from being happy, being wrong does not exclude me or you from being happy – they are not mutually attached for me, or for you, or in fact for anyone on the planet   Now I have not told the other person they were wrong in their statement – I do not need to be right in that situation – I have made the choice to write an article instead to share my thoughts on the subject   You can be right and be happy and you can be wrong and be happy. You can be wrong when you are right and be happy, you can be happy when proven wrong and any other combination of right and wrong and be happy – it is your choice   Happiness is an emotion you choose to have or not, it is something you can create or destroy in any moment with a change of thought, it is your choice, and you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness, that is their choice Now here is the ‘thing’ not everybody knows that! and being right sometimes upsets other people and that is their choice It is how you are right, how you express it, what and how much compassion you include or not, how emotionally intelligent you are in the moment and follow up that is important, what tone you are right in, what words you use, how you behave that makes the difference     You do not always have to be right; you have choices in how to balance being right or wrong dependent on the situation, and the environment and the person you are interacting with in your communications How you behave will affect the results you receive in every aspect of life and business A simple graph explains what I mean and the choices you have   You have 4 options to choose from and recognise Being right when you are right Being wrong when you are wrong Being wrong when you are right Being right when you are wrong   Each position has its own set of parameters and reasons as to why you would adopt that position with your communication     Being right when you are right  Being right is a fundamental necessity in many circumstances Being right when it is a legal matter, a piece of objective factual evidence-based information, truth on a situation is a good thing that is not to be dismissed, underestimated, or allowed to not be said. If you choose to not be right when you know you are right, you collude with & condone the wrong, it allows others to be wrong on something that is wrong rather than right. By accepting not being right and not saying anything you allow others to continue to be wrong without the knowledge of how to be right Is that fair for them? There is a process to go through to not undermine them and their thoughts, you can be right without trampling on others and of course the complete opposite can be true   People may not remember what you said, they may not remember what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou Now being right can sometimes come from just having to be right regardless of whether you are or not. Being right when it is a personal opinion can lead to judgements, prejudice, bias and all sorts of other ‘stuff’. It relates to being right for being rights sake, as such. Meaning you stand your ground, you dig in, you don’t listen, you trample over others, you win at all costs and your ego shouts. It really isn’t pleasant   Do you always have to be right even if you are?   The simple answer is no you don’t. Now whether you are or not is a whole other thought process.   There are always times and situations and people where being right, even though you are, is just not important. You can walk away, you can stay silent, you can retreat, you can change the subject – there are options to be taken   Clearly there is a choice to be made in the moment of the impact being right will make on the situation, the relationship, the subject, the beliefs of the other person   This is where Emotional Intelligence, comes in and where you weigh up the costs and benefits, the pros and cons, on you and the other person, group or situation   A few questions to ask yourself: How much energy do you want to expend on being right? How important is it to you? Why is being right important to you? Is being right vital? Is being right the only way? What is the relationship you are in with the other person, organisation, team? How do you want to maintain the relationship going forward?         Being wrong when you are wrong   This is an absolutely fabulous way of showing your ego isn’t shouting, or the fact that you are listening, that you can be wrong, that you are willing to learn from others   This is even more important when you are a Leader, and please remember we are all Leaders, admitting being wrong is a skill and an art and can be learnt   To be