Toxic positivity is the practice of insisting on a positive outlook no matter what the circumstances are.
Understanding Abuse: Breaking the Cycle Without Blame
What is Abuse? Abuse is a powerful word and is not something anybody will want to be called or accused of, and sadly, many are an abuser and do abuse without the knowledge they are, believe it when they are told, or change when someone informs them and provides the opportunity.
The Dark Side of Work-Life Balance
The Dark Side of Work-Life Balance When Employees Take Advantage In recent years, the concept of work-life balance has become a foundation of employment practices. It is championed as a path to greater employee satisfaction, improved mental health, and increased productivity.
From ‘Mustn’t Grumble’ to ‘Not Bad’: Tracing the Evolution of British Language
On 01/11/23, I was at the O2 to hear Dr Jordan Peterson speak, and he had guests on stage with him, one of whom was Douglas Murray who spoke about the change of one particular phrase in the UK culture and how it had disappeared the phrase is ‘mustn’t grumble’ My love of language, curiosity, intention and influence created this post. In the joy of language, subtle changes occur that we do not always recognise are happening until it has occurred. Words and phrases that once held cultural significance fade away, only to be replaced by newer expressions. One such phrase that held its place in the British dialect for many years that was generally said after the common question ‘how are you?’ is ‘mustn’t grumble.’
Embracing the Present: Unshackling Ourselves from the Past
Embracing the Present: Unshackling Ourselves from the Past Embracing the present is a skill to learn for many of us and life is a series of moments, each building upon the last. However, our ability to thrive in the present is often shadowed by the burdens of our past. How can we find the strength to move forward, untethered by previous regrets or traumas? This article explores why and how you should unshackle yourself from the past to live a life enriched by the present. Remember: we all have a past, and our past does not have to be the prediction of our future. The choice is ours no one else
The Pros & Cons of Optimism
The Pros & Cons of Optimism Optimism is a mental attitude that interprets events and circumstances in a positive way. People who are optimistic tend to have a more positive outlook on life and are more likely to approach challenges with a sense of hope and determination.
What is Hope?
What is Hope? Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. It is a feeling of positivity that can help you to overcome challenges and difficult times. It is an important emotion to have and utilise because:
Saying Yes and Meaning It, Saying No and Meaning It: The Psychology and Rewards of Knowing the Difference
Making decisions, as in saying yes or no and meaning it, which relate to both intra and interpersonal communication, can be challenging for some and easy for others. It is a skill set that all can learn 100%. Now whether you want to or not is a whole other ‘thing’. Learning it will probably involve change! Some will say there is a balance between saying “yes” and “no”. Which I can accept if you fall too heavily one way or the other. I bet you have met that person that whatever you suggest their automatic response in no! and I am not a gambler and I bet you have also met the person that says yes to everything, resulting in them supposedly being in 3 places simultaneously! Each response carries its own set of implications, and striking the perfect balance is a skill crucial for emotional and mental health. The psychology behind saying “yes” and “no” is immense and far more than one article will cover (I will write more on the subject) Remember: Each use of either yes or no, regardless of reason, brings rewards to the issuer Saying Yes and Meaning It When we say “yes” and mean it, we are opening ourselves up to: Experiences, Relationships, Opportunities Personal growth and Happiness. Saying “yes” is an act of acceptance – it signifies a willingness to participate, to be involved, and to make connections and that can foster magic or mayhem Psychologically, it can manifest as an act of agreeableness and open-mindedness, both of which are integral personality traits that promote positive social interactions. The Physiological Perspective From a psychological perspective, saying “yes” and meaning it can trigger a release of hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. These hormones generate feelings of happiness, pleasure, and bonding. They help us connect better with others and feel more optimistic about life. Dopamine, the ‘feel good’ hormone, is associated with the reward system in our brain. We feel happy and satisfied when we say “yes” to something we truly want to do or experience. Remember: saying “yes” should be a conscious and mindful decision, not a compulsive reaction to external pressure or fear upsetting someone. The inability to say “no” out of fear of rejection or conflict can lead to an unhealthy pattern of behaviour, often characterised by overcommitment, low self-esteem and burnout. Saying No and Meaning It The power to say “no” and mean it is equally important. Saying no is a crucial aspect of maintaining personal boundaries and ensuring mental well-being. Saying “no” is essentially an act of self-care – it involves setting limits, preserving energy and prioritising one’s own needs. The ability to say “no” corresponds to the psychological concept of assertiveness, which is the ability to express oneself and one’s rights without violating the rights of others. Being assertive means having the courage to express your feelings and standing up for one’s point of view, while also respecting the feelings and beliefs of others. Psychologically, saying “no” and meaning it opens us up to: Maintaining self-esteem Reduces stress. Avoiding situations and tasks that are undesirable, Stopping others from being overbearing or harmful. Remember: saying “no” should be a conscious and mindful decision with all the decision-making information in mind, not a knee-jerk reaction for attention. By saying “no” to such situations, you are, in effect, saying “yes” to your mental and emotional well-being. Furthermore, the ability to say “no” can be associated with the development of resilience and the promotion of autonomy. Say NO to others and YES to yourself and the opposites for the right reasons. Like saying “yes,” saying “no” also requires balance. Constantly declining opportunities or isolating oneself can lead to missed experiences and potential social disconnection. The Rewards of Balance Finding the right balance between saying “yes” and “no” and meaning it is an art. It requires self-awareness, an understanding of your own values and motivators, and the courage to express yourself. It requires confidence, decision-making skills, information-gathering skills, a deep connection with your intuition and above all, knowing your worth and value for self and others. Saying “yes” or “no” extends beyond verbal communication. It reflects your psychological state and ability to balance your needs and wants with those of others. By harnessing the power of “yes” and “no” and using them mindfully and assertively, you unlock the potential to lead more fulfilling, balanced, and healthier lives. If you like what you read in the articles, you may like to read one of Julies books on and on or listen in to Please subscribe and follow more books being written and episodes being produced 🙂
From Isolation to Inclusion: Practical Ways to Expand Your Social Circle
From isolation to Inclusion, please remember building relationships takes time, and relieving isolation is a process that can take time. Start small, and do not put pressure on yourself. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. In reality, the longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, so make that a great one. The other relationships, you can pick and choose and spend as much or as little time in as you wish.
Why does Loneliness Occur?
Last week’s article covered the difference between Solitude and Loneliness. This week I thought to look at why does loneliness occur and what causes loneliness. I have experienced it and still do on occasion and I will cover what you can do about it next week. It is always a work in practice in my experience. Remember: what works for you may not work for someone else. Everyone is unique.
