The Art of Flattery: Why Do People “Blow Smoke”?
As you may imagine, something happened the other day where I witnessed someone blowing smoke (in my phrase) up someone a**e & I thought why do people do that?
I am sure we have all come across it, we have seen or heard that over-the-top compliment or the unwarranted praise that seems a touch insincere. Commonly referred to as “blowing smoke up someone’s arse,” this age-old practice is deeply rooted in human behaviour and societal interactions.
My question to you have you done it? or have you been on the receiving end of it?
But why exactly do people resort to such extravagant flattery?
- To Gain Favour: One of the primary reasons people use flattery is to win someone’s goodwill or favour. By making someone feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to look at the flatterer positively.
- Avoiding Conflict: Some people use compliments as a buffer to mitigate potential disagreements or soften a critique. It’s easier to deliver bad news when it is sandwiched between layers of praise. (please DO NOT use this style of delivering feedback I will write an article on why not)
- Building Social Bonds: At times, a little embellishment in praise can act as a lubricant in social situations. It helps individuals feel integrated and appreciated within a group, even if the compliments are slightly exaggerated.
- Boosting One’s Own Ego: Sometimes, making others feel good can be a reflection of our own need for validation. The act of giving compliments might boost the giver’s own self-esteem and make them feel powerful or influential.
- Manipulation: In some unfortunate cases, flattery can be a tool for manipulation. When used strategically, excessive praise can make individuals more malleable or accepting of something they might otherwise question.
While a genuine compliment can work wonders, it’s always wise to be discerning and recognise when flattery might have ulterior motives. Remember, sincerity is key. It’s always better to offer genuine, heartfelt compliments than to “blow smoke” without true sentiment.
When you are congruent and understand how to communicate effectively and live in your power – you will never have the need to operate in this manner
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